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 The Day That Changed Everything

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Miss.Luv.

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PostSubject: The Day That Changed Everything   April 24th 2010, 7:47 pm

I find it hard to talk about this day, but I know we are all MJ fans and that we've all gone through this day here so here goes... And I apologize in advance because this could get lengthy.

(Something I would like to explain before you read this - I'm currently 13, and I was 12 when Michael died. I've loved Michael since 2008, and for most people my age, 'Michael Jackson' is the punchline for perverted jokes, so my love for Michael is a secret to this day. I let my sister know, but she doesnt know I'm still a fan, and I told my grandmother, but she said "He is talented, isnt he? But its a shame what he's done to his face." Since that I didn't mention him to her. So yeah, I keep my grief a secret from my friends and family.)

On June 25th 2009, I woke up a little early because my grandmother was visiting and we had decided we were going to some gardens at a university. So we went to Duke (the school) and spent hours there. I even remember what I was wearing that day - A grey tshirt from my aunts store that says 'Peace Love Sunshine Forever' on it, tan shorts, and Navy Blue Converse (low tops). It was a really hot day and we did a lot of walking. At some point we stopped to have an ice lolly (mine was a Pineapple one) and then later while we were walking my feet started to hurt so I took off my converse, tied the laces together, and put them around my neck. For lunch we went to my favorite restaurant called the Merlion (a Singaporean restaurant) and I had Chicken Rice and a Diet Pepsi. We didnt have dessert. The car ride home, I just remember crying, because I was leaning against my grandmother who was sleeping and I was thinking about what would happen the day she dies, and I felt tears escape from my eyes... We got home around 4, and I took a shower and laid on my bed for a bit. At around 5:00-5:30 my sister came in my room. "Em... I dont know.. it might be a joke..." I was confused about what she was talking about but she led me into my dad's study, where she had just turned on the TV. On the tv was CNN, a picture of michael singing from the Jackson 5 days, and the subheading reading "Michael Jackson Pronounced Dead".. I stood there for a minute... It must be a joke, it cant be real... I told my sister "Maybe its not real.. But its CNN so its probably true.." At this point I turned around and headed for my room. I turned on my laptop and opened up the Internet. My homepage is MSN and it had a red banner saying he was dead. I went to TMZ and read all i could about it...

I didnt cry until that later that night. I went back to the study to watch Disney with my sister like we did everynight during that summer. I had a smile on my face the whole time. I was putting on a strong face for her. She kept looking at me wearily but we didnt mention it the rest of the night. I didn't sleep that night until 4 in the morning. I was refreshing TMZ over and over again, reading all of the new pages about Michael.

The next day I woke up around 8 in the morning (which is really early for me) and attempted to go downstairs. I was at the top of the stairs when my dad announced loudly "Oh Mickey Jay is dead..." (Meaning Michael). I then returned to my room, I didnt want to come downstairs to discussion about Michael. My mom came in my room around 11:30 and said my grandmother wanted to take me to go bowling, which is one of my favorite things to do. That whole day I kept a smile on my face, ocassionally letting a tiny tear slide down my face. I remember specifically one time when we were at the bowling alley when I was laughing at something my sister did, and then suddenly 'He's Dead' went through my mind, and my eyes started welling up..

Those two days are probably two of the toughest I've ever lived through.

Ever since Michael's passing, I have battled episodes of severe depression, and I started cutting myself. (which I have stopped... Sort of...) I've also 'attempted' suicide a couple times. Not just Michael's passing caused this but it just added to the pile of things that continue to affect me negatively to this very day...



So yeah.. Thats pretty much my story about how I learned about Michael's passing and how it has affected me
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Cat^^

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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   April 25th 2010, 6:54 am

Miss.Luv. wrote:

Ever since Michael's passing, I have battled episodes of severe depression, and I started cutting myself. (which I have stopped... Sort of...) I've also 'attempted' suicide a couple times. Not just Michael's passing caused this but it just added to the pile of things that continue to affect me negatively to this very day...

omg
no one knows this but well
yeah i cut myself too
i know how you feel
it just added to all the crap i dont need in my life
my parents would always ask " What happened? " when they saw the scars and id just go " nothing "
suicide: well i ve thought about that ( i was already thinking that before he died )
and my parents dont help
all sarcastic and blah blah blahhhhh!!
btw i dont cut myself anymore but i've come close to doing it
emm im just kinda venting so...
yeahhhh
anyway it nice to know im not alone in how i feel.
i didnt say this in my reaction because...well i didnt really want people to think me werid or a emo ( IM NOT )
i get that too much
* cyber hugs * ^^
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Miss.Luv.

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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   April 25th 2010, 11:06 am

Aw really? *cyber hugz back*
Good to know im not the only one here

I'v stopped cutting.. well sort of.. My friend made me promise i wouldnt do it anymore but there have been 2 times i slipped a little. Sad

its horrible... only the friend that made me promise and like 2 other friends know (they both cut too so i let them now, they would understand) And i just decided to be honest in this and just put it down into my post, so now whoever reads this knows how much everything has affected me..

Even thought the ones on my arm have healed now, to me atleast, i can still see pale pink scars and i cant look at me arm because i hurt when i see them...

But anyway, im really glad im not the only one who does that here Smile
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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   April 25th 2010, 3:56 pm

Cat^^ wrote:
Miss.Luv. wrote:

Ever since Michael's passing, I have battled episodes of severe depression, and I started cutting myself. (which I have stopped... Sort of...) I've also 'attempted' suicide a couple times. Not just Michael's passing caused this but it just added to the pile of things that continue to affect me negatively to this very day...

omg
no one knows this but well
yeah i cut myself too
i know how you feel
it just added to all the crap i dont need in my life
my parents would always ask " What happened? " when they saw the scars and id just go " nothing "
suicide: well i ve thought about that ( i was already thinking that before he died )
and my parents dont help
all sarcastic and blah blah blahhhhh!!
btw i dont cut myself anymore but i've come close to doing it
emm im just kinda venting so...
yeahhhh
anyway it nice to know im not alone in how i feel.
i didnt say this in my reaction because...well i didnt really want people to think me werid or a emo ( IM NOT )
i get that too much
* cyber hugs * ^^

omysamenesss! i cut myself too!
wow,reading this gave me a lil dejavu
man i cry the 25th of each month which sux cuz my bday and xmas and 2day.
im readin moonwalk again,tapin up my fingers, and i hav 1 glove
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Miss.Luv.

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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   April 25th 2010, 4:27 pm

wow yet again, good to know im not alone with the cutting thing.
The 25th... Today i am wearing the same tshirt i wore the day he died.. Idk what imma do on june 25 iv gotta do something special for him. On the 25th i spend the whole day thinking about michael (well... thats everyday but still) I cry on the 25 everytime... just the thot of the fact that on the 25th Michael passed away.. I always spend a couple minutes crying in my dads study where i learned the sad news Sad
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BadAngelness

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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   April 25th 2010, 9:51 pm

moment of silence for the fall of sexy
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Miss.Luv.

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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   April 25th 2010, 10:24 pm

Deffo
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jalisa

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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   April 29th 2010, 5:24 pm

im a bitch like a serious punk
Depression i think i was born with it

cutting myself NO! have i tried yea
i just managed to scratch the surface

Suicuide i was on the EDGE
living at a battered women shelter ( i have a
baby sister 16 years younger than me i couldn't do it but only for her shes my Joy and Happiness. )
after Michael she's all i have and she's the Biggest 3 yr old Michael fan I've ever seen.
it would kill her if i died so that's a no go

i put all my love and sadness in Michael and my sister *no cutting its unhealthy as they put it
"they" being the counselors i had to see.

sidenote counselors are douches
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Cat^^

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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   April 30th 2010, 10:46 am

jalisa wrote:

sidenote counselors are douches

AGREED!!!
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Yuna

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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   May 2nd 2010, 4:24 am

Cat^^ wrote:
jalisa wrote:

sidenote counselors are douches

AGREED!!!

DITTO!

I've suffered from depression on and off since I was 14 and seen a bunch of counsellors.
MJ and his music helped me a hell of a lot more then those douches ever did
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PostSubject: Re: The Day That Changed Everything   May 12th 2010, 9:37 pm

I was on the computer when on the news at 3:00 it was like:
"Breaking news."
So I went to see what it was, and then they said Michael had died, and I kept screaming:
"WHAT?! NO!" And I had an actual panic attack.
I freaked out and told everyone I knew, and I was in denial for a few days. The sadness actually really started to set in really late - in February. I cried every day.
But I'm 95% better now from that. I still miss him everyday, but I focus on the good - not the bad.
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